everything in my head is a blurry mess of love and light. the two are indistinguishable.
i am obsessed with and undeniably terrified of the 'L' word.

my capacity for love is disgusting.
i am sure there is no space left inside of my chest. i take out a couple ribs to make room.
tell you to make yourself at home, get comfortable inside me.

soon, i am consumed and inexplicably exhausted.

i am scared to be up because eventually i must come down.
coming down is sudden and excruciating. 
my eyes are open, but i don't see any light in front of me.
i might as well be at the bottom of the ocean, so far down that no one can touch me.
so numb that even when i try to touch myself to make sure i'm still alive,
i can't feel a damn thing.

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