i am not good at goodbyes

it feels like i am drowning in a pool full of love, and i can't remember how to swim. i am sitting at the bottom, and you are trying to remind me how to breathe. i ask you, how am i supposed to breathe while my lungs are full of water?

love. you are on the edge with a life vest, but you are not jumping in after me. love. i admit now that i am the stupid one for thinking that you alone will save me. love. you are watching me drown and screaming to me that i need to start swimming.

love, i yell back, i am trying to swim, but my mind is drawing a blank. 

love.

i am ready to stop fighting.

love, i am ready to start learning.

i am ready to start swimming.