how to stay afloat

i am not good at goodbyes.
it feels like i am drowning in a pool full of love, and i can't remember how to swim.
i am sitting at the bottom, and you are trying to remind me how to breathe. 
i ask you, how am i supposed to breathe while my lungs are full of water?

love, you are on the edge with a life vest, but you are not jumping in after me.
love, i admit now that i am the stupid one for thinking that you alone will save me.
love, you are watching me drown and screaming to me that i need to start swimming.

 i yell back, i am trying to swim but don't remember how. my
mind is drawing a blank. 

love.
I want you to know, i am ready to stop fighting you.
i am ready to start learning from you.
i am ready to swim again.